Idiot of the West - Chapter 1

Rodney: (narrating) they are sometimes when heroes are born in weird random ways, take me for example… I’m Rodney Jay… but people usually call me as… (Gets kicked out of the saloon) the town idiot. Every town I lived, I get kicked out of saloons like there’s no tomorrow… I reckon I find a better town, just one town… that its people would like me. Then one day… (Hits a sigh on his head and reads) “West Metro Gulch”? (Narrates to himself) I think I found a new home! (Yells “wa-cha!” and rolls in the ground to another saloon). Well I hope I won’t gets kicked out again…

[Townsfolk chattering until Rodney kicks the saloon doors]

Rodney: Howdy ya’ll… (Gets hit by the doors).

[Everyone laughs while Rodney gets back inside]

Rodney: (chuckles nervously) Heh… yeah… haha… (slips through the saloons and hits the bottom of the stool) Ouch…

Charles: You all right there partner? (Looks at Rodney)

Rodney: I reckon I is… (Looks around the bar) Wow… fancy soda you got there.

Charles: So what’ll be buddy?

Rodney: (thinking) got anything with a fizz?

[Charles hands Rodney a bottle of Dr. G; Rodney drinks the soda, hiccups and falls off the stool]

Rodney: Whoo… that there soda is heavy…

Charles: That’ll be 5 cents, partner.

Rodney: 5 cents?! That’s highway robbery…! What kind of idjit makes these prices anyway?

[An outlaw steps in out of nowhere and the folks gasped]

Isaac: I am! (Walks straight to Rodney) and who are you supposed to be, ya idiot?

Rodney: (Shakes Isaac’s hand) Why I’m Rodney Jay, people used to call me the saloon idiot! What’s your name buddy?

Isaac: (Angrily) get your mitts off me! Folks call me Isaac… Isaac Killsworth, on the count of I kill anyone who gets in my way! (Points the guns at Rodney) You’re in my town now, kid!

Rodney: Well I don’t think that’s nice… (Grabs Isaac’s gun) You shouldn’t play with these things you know! (Grabs a mallet and smashes the gun apart). There we is! No more killing!

[Isaac gets very angry, grabs Rodney by the throat and kicks him out of the saloon]

Isaac: And don’t back here, you idiot!

Rodney: Ow... kicked out again... I should've know I gets kicked out again... (Walks sadly out of town and into the desert)